


Reality Can Be Cruel Sometimes

by pinkiiisms



Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal, Persona Series
Genre: 3rd semester spoilers eventually, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, eventual smut as well maybe?, maruki x reader tag only there to increase the reach of the fic in the search results tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25659289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkiiisms/pseuds/pinkiiisms
Summary: It had started with an appointment she didn’t want to go to, the pain she’d been hiding for years trying so hard to come to the surface despite her efforts to crush them back down. He was much too kind, and broke whatever resolve she might have had in keeping everything to herself. Eventually, it all becomes too much, too painful, and it overflows, with his warm, welcoming hands waiting to hold her as she cried. This clumsy but soft man would be the beginning of the end for her pain, but reality can be cruel sometimes.
Relationships: Maruki Takuto/Original Female Character(s), Maruki Takuto/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y’all! There simply isn’t enough Maruki fanfics out there, at least, ones where he’s involved in a relationship with a reader/original character, so I thought I’d remedy that! A lot of this is inspired by an RP that is still ongoing with a friend on Tumblr. This is also my very first fanfic, so pls feel free to give constructive criticism but also keep in mind the main form of writing I’ve been doing for years and years has been RPing on Tumblr. I’m not that confident in my writing tbh, especially since I don’t have experience writing fanfics, but I hope y’all like it!
> 
> OC is the adopted older sister to the protagonist, whose name will be Akira Kurusu here. She is a Persona user as well, though not a phantom thief. She falls kinda fast for Maruki, but tries to fight it. Maruki takes longer than her to come to the realization that he likes her.
> 
> OC is 23, Maruki is 29.
> 
> Follows the course of Royal, but doesn’t touch on every single thing that happens in the game. Will focus more on the relationship between OC and Maruki, as well as between OC and the protagonist.
> 
> NO BETA, ONLY ME. I'll more than likely edit every chapter that goes up at least once, because I don't tend to notice mistakes in grammar, spelling, or things I wanted to add and/or change until I actually upload it.

“ No, no please, I’m begging you, ple-! ”

SHWING!

The sound of metal flying through the air and then cutting into something solid sounded off, the frantic, begging voice cut off with a gurgle before a hiss was heard. The shadow disappeared in a mist of black as a female figure stood over where it had previously been. Short in stature, though the heels she wore helped to add to her height, the longer than normal dagger held in her hand was shaking just slightly. Short breathes escaped her mouth as her hair, a deeper black than one would typically see in Japanese people, fell over her shoulders to hide her face from view. The deed she had done was over with, and yet, she stood there, shaking like a leaf in the wind. As she straightened up, the pink rimmed white mask upon her face only doing so much to hide her identity, confliction could be seen in her eyes.

_Am I really doing the right thing?_

The thought echoed loudly in her mind as she made to turn and leave the underground subway station, her heels clacking softly with each step she took. Mementos was as creepy as usual, and perhaps that was why she was on edge. She’d never really gotten used to the place despite how many times she had been there. The atmosphere as well as the way everything looked was just something she could never get used to. It was funny though. Though she liked scary movies very much, encountering a real life scary movie, made her legitimately scared. Maybe that was why she was breathing so heavily. It could also just be the adrenaline from the kill, which always seemed to bother her in some way. She always had to convince herself that it was a good thing she had done, and that she had eased or downright gotten rid of someone elses cause of suffering in their life.

Using her phone to leave the metaverse once she got back to the entrance of the place, a wave of exhaustion crashed over her and she felt her posture slump as a result. God, she was never going to get used to that. It was a wonder how she even managed to have as much energy for everything else, though the sugar filled sodas she loved so much might have something to do with that. She only ever got enough sleep to function on after all. Well, she _usually_ did, at least.

“ Ugh, it’s so late now, I probably won’t be able to get much sleep before my schedule tomorrow morning…. “

Technically already the next morning, a groan left her lips as she looked at her phone. It was 12:27, but it would only take her fifteen minutes or so to get home to her much too large condo, despite how tired she was. By the time she’d walked through the front door, it took all of whatever energy she had left to even be able to make it to one of the sofas in the living area. Collapsing onto it, it took all of two minutes before she was passed out, phone still gripped in her hand. Good thing it was, because the alarm set to go off in less than five hours was going to be a particularly loud one.

. . .

“ Evie, please, would you take this seriously?! “

Snapping to attention as her name was practically screamed in her direction, Evelyn nodded her head in response and then proceeded to try a different pose for the camera aimed at her. Her head pounded with a headache, so she had simply been slumping forward in pain, though her expression remained neutral. Obviously that didn’t mean she wasn’t taking the photoshoot seriously, she just needed a break! However, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon, because her lunch break wasn’t for another couple hours. The photoshoot itself wasn’t supposed to take that long, but there was a meeting after it to discuss which photos to use for the cover of the magazine she was going to be on. The front page of the magazine, to be specific.

“ Yes, sorry! “

Proceeding to strike a pose, this continued on for about thirty more minutes before the camera man gave the okay that they were done. She couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped her lips, though she made sure to not slump forward in case her manager was still watching. As far as she knew, he was doing something else in another room. Walking over to where her bag was, she pulled out her phone to check the time, and noticed she had a few missed calls from her parents. More specifically, her mother. Why had they called her was beyond her, because she hadn’t gotten word from them about anything in almost a year. It was surprising, and before she could go to call them back, her mothers number popped up on the phones screen and Evelyn wasted no time in answering.

“ Uh, mom? Is something wrong? Why’d you and dad call me?”

“ Ayaka, we’ve got unfortunate news for you. Your brother is going to be coming to Tokyo and we need you to help him adjust to being there. “

Confusion spread across her features and her brow furrowed. Akira was coming to Tokyo? The annoyance at being called her former name only briefly crossed her mind; finding out what was going on was more important than arguing yet _again_ with her mother over the name she preferred to be called.

“ Uuuhh, why’s he coming here? Did something happen? “

“ He can tell you more when he gets there, but he got in trouble with the police, so he’s on probation now. “

Shock flashed across her face and worry began to spread within her chest. What had _happened_?!

“ Um?! Why can’t you tell me what happened? Why do I have to wait for him to tell me more? “

“ Listen, honey, it’s complicated. He’ll be there in about a week, so make sure to call him and give him your address! Bye, love you! “

Before Evelyn could say anything else, her mother hung up and she was left with nothing but a feeling of frustration. Leave it to her mother to not tell her what was going on, and then just leave her hanging like that. Looking around quickly to make sure no one needed her at the moment, she tapped away on her phone, texting Akira to ask what was going on. Luckily, he seemed more open to explaining what was going on, and the frustration she was feeling bloomed into fury as he sent a few paragraphs summarizing what had happened. What the hell! He was arrested because he had tried to help a woman who was being harassed? He had only tried to help, but the man who was harassing the woman fell, got hurt, and then blamed it on Akira? The fact their parents didn’t seem to do much, if anything at all, about it all only made her even more angry. Then again, she shouldn’t be surprised. They couldn’t even use the name she wanted them to use when referring to her, so why should she expect them to care that their son had been falsely accused of assault?

Evelyn felt so bad for her brother, this couldn’t have been easy for him to deal with, and it only took a second for her to decide to do what she could to help him once he got to Tokyo. She wasn’t sure what she _could_ do with her current schedule, as ruthless as it had been lately, but she could afford to put her foot down here and there to make time for him, couldn’t she?

“ Evie, time for the front page meeting! “

Sighing, she put her phone back into her bag, scratching at her head as her headache suddenly got worse. This was going to be a long day, wasn’t it?

. . .

The days following the photoshoot seemed to bleed together, a whirlwind of activity that left hardly any time to rest and barely enough time to sleep. Between her schedules, she spent time preparing her condo to welcome her brother to the city as well as researching the school he was going to, Shujin Academy. She’d never heard of it, but apparently it was a good school if the things she had read online were anything to go by. She didn’t even have time to go to Mementos to carry out another of her “hits”, as she liked to call them. No one was actually making her do them, no one but herself, but that was besides the point. She had begun doubting what she was doing when it came to that in the first place, and so it was almost a relief that she didn’t have time to go there.

He wasn’t going to be staying with her, so she had no idea why she was making sure her place was looking the best it could, but maybe it was just because she was trying to make sure it would be a safe place for him to come to if he ever needed to. Perhaps he’d come over if he needed to de-stress, or needed someone to talk to. She had already decided to give him a spare key so that he could come in whenever he wanted, even if she wasn’t home, knowing she could trust him enough to do so without risking anyone robbing her home.

Before she knew it, the day he’d be coming over arrived and she was lucky enough to get home in time to welcome him inside. Akira had already been in Tokyo for a couple days by then, so she guessed she was lucky he’d had trouble finding her place. A few minutes later and he’d have probably gotten there before her!

It was awkward at first, and Evelyn found that she was the one doing most of the talking. He was able to tell her more details of what had happened that night and the subsequent consequences of his actions, and it took all she had to not get angry in front of him and keep a smile plastered on her face. He wasn’t happy with how things had ended up for him, that much she could tell, but he was also handling everything in stride. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to do the same thing if she were in his shoes, so she found herself admiring how strong he was being. They continued to talk over take out she had ordered shortly after he’d been let inside, chahan from a local place she’d never tried, but it wasn’t long before it was time for him to go back home to where he was staying. Someone named Sojiro Sakura, whom so far, seemed to be viewing him as a burden, if what Akira had told her was anything to go by. She hoped that changed, and soon, because if it didn’t she’d have to try and do anything she could to see if he could come live with her instead. Although she knew that wasn’t likely to happen no matter how hard she’d try, it was still a fight she would give her all for.

Once he was gone, she felt a strange sadness wash over her, and she found herself vaguely thinking about maybe getting a cat or two.

. . .

The days following her brothers visit seemed to blur together, though not in a good way. She was exhausted daily, and her schedule just did not seem to be getting any less busy. They were really trying to push her right now, for her own success they had said, and while she was grateful that her management seemed to care so much about her success, it was beginning to take a toll on her. So much so that, without warning one day, her manager pulled her aside and ask if she was alright. “You’ve looked really down lately”, he had said. He mentioned her lack of energy as well as the fact that she had looked downright depressed more often than not when the camera wasn’t on her. It made her angry with herself, because she was the type to suffer in silence, and so the fact that she had slipped up so much recently that she was being asked about it only served to make things worse. She ended up lashing out at her manager, which resulted in him putting his foot down and halting all of her activities completely. Any schedule she may have had for the foreseeable future was now canceled and she was completely dismayed as a result. He had implored her to seek help, maybe in the form of a therapist or something like that, and then told her to go home.

That night, she cried herself to sleep as the exhaustion she’d been dealing with the past few weeks all seemed to have been for naught. Every bit of her effort felt like it had been wasted, and now she found herself with absolutely nothing to do. She could make music, or practice dancing, sure, but it just wouldn’t be the same if she didn’t have anyone to show it to on a stage.

She had been seeing her brother at least once or twice a week since he had come to Tokyo, and during one of these visits after she had been forced into her hiatus, she offhandedly mentioned what was going on to him. She needed help, she said. She needed to see a therapist, according to her manager. She couldn’t help the tone of disdain in her voice as she had told Akira all of this, though it wasn’t directed at him. He then mentioned had started seeing a counselor himself, one by the name of Dr. Maruki, and that he seemed like a nice guy who could possibly help her like he was helping Akira. Though she didn’t think she needed the help she had been told to get, she asked him for a way to get into contact with the doctor, and then proceeded to make an appointment the next day. Then, all she had to do was wait until the day of the appointment would come. The days leading up to it were a blur in a different way as she found herself getting too much sleep, too much rest. Perhaps it should have been a blessing considering how ridiculously busy she had been previously, but instead it was nothing but a problem.

Not willing to acknowledge it, but knowing it was indeed there, depression had become a near constant in her new every day life. She barely even ate enough to function. It was honestly pathetic, that all it took to break her down to a state like this was just being told she couldn’t perform anymore. For now, at least. The passion she held for her career choice was usually what kept her going, and to have that taken away without her say so was heartbreaking.

The day came where she would finally meet this Dr. Maruki, and it couldn’t have been more awkward. He seemed nice enough, welcoming her into his office with a warm smile, but considering the fact she didn’t want to be there in the first place, it made the atmosphere tense at first. Well, on her end at least. 

“ Well, I’m Maruki Takuto, and I hope I can help you in whatever way you may need! Do you want something to drink? “

He gave his full name and offered her a drink; of the options provided, she chose soda. It probably wasn’t the best idea, considering the amount of sleep and food she’d been dealing with recently, but her addiction to the sugary drink wouldn’t let her refuse. Her sleep schedule had been a mess since she’d started sleeping so much, and it her drinking as much soda as she did had not been helping.

“ So, I heard your brother, Kurusu Akira, recommended me to you. I can’t help but be surprised by that, I think he sings my praises a bit too much, but nevertheless, I’m here to help! Nothing leaves this room that you don’t want to leave it, so please, feel free to talk freely! “

Evelyn couldn’t help the smile that had made it’s way to her lips at the mention of her brother. Akira really was such a good kid, wasn’t he? Even though he didn’t know she didn’t want to go to counseling, he had been so ready to help her with this recommendation, and it warmed her heart to know he cared so much.

“ Thanks, uh, I’ve….never been to counseling before. Even when I was in school, I was never sent to the school counselor or anything like that, so I’m…not really sure what to talk about. “

“ That’s perfectly fine! We can just have a normal conversation about anything that may come to mind! How about I start?” He waited a moment before continuing.

“I tried to make my own apple juice the other day, but I ended up with apple mush instead of juice. Guess I should try to get a juice machine since I can’t seem to do it myself, haha! “

Her expression didn’t change from its neutral state, though her tone of voice as she replied to him indicated she thought what he had said was funny.

“ Really? I have a juicer myself, I could recommend a good one to you if you want… “

He blinked before chuckling lightly, reaching up to scratch at the back of his head. “ You’d do that? You don’t have to, but I’d appreciate it nonetheless! “

“ Yeah, er….”

The awkwardness was coming back, and she figured the only way to break it would be to just flat out say why she was there.

“ Listen, Doctor, I’m not really here because I _want_ to be….I’m kind of being forced to be here…..” She neglected to say who was forcing her here, because at the time she was refusing to even think of his name, let alone give him room in her head. Petty, she knew, but she honestly couldn’t help it. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me, but who knows….maybe there is and I’m just in denial.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment before regarding her with a kind smile. “ I see…Well, I don’t know much about your predicament, but I can say that I have at least a little experience with celebrities! Well, sort of, heheh. I’m currently seeing a rising star in the world of gymnastics, your brother might even know her! “ 

She highly doubted that a gymnast was similar to her in any way, but she refrained from saying so because it was rude. Instead, she let out a soft sigh, tucking some hair behind her ear as she mumbled a “maybe” in reply. A beat of silence came and went before he spoke again, his head tilted to the side slightly.

“ Let’s see, why don’t you walk me through what a normal day is like for you? Maybe we can start from there. “

A grimace showed on her face at this, but she complied with it for the time being. The sooner she can get this done and over with the sooner she can go home, after all. “Well, nowadays I sleep a lot, but that’s not how it used to be. Ever since I got forced into this stupid hiatus, I don’t really have anything to do….” She couldn’t keep the bitter tone out of her voice, but really, why even bother trying to do so. She _was_ bitter, and she felt she had every right to show it. Though, she was kind of lying when she said she didn’t really have anything to do. She had plenty of hobbies she could partake in, but they just didn’t seem like they were worth the effort right now.

“ Sleeping too much could be a sign of something else going on….but hmm, it looks like you’ve been given too much free time, too fast, but I’m sure there’s something you could do to fill the time! Reading or playing video games are good things to do to make the time pass, as well as exercising! “

Oh, if only he knew just how much exercise she technically got every day. Well, she _used_ to get a lot exercise, usually in the form of dancing, but now it was different. Sure, she could have kept up with it herself, but it all boiled down to what the point of it was? She was just so depressed over the hiatus she’d been forced into that she couldn’t bring herself to take part in any of the things she loved to do anymore.

“ I get what you’re saying, but I also don’t see the point of it…what’s the point in doing anything like that if I don’t even have my livelihood to look forward to every day?”

This thought only served to frustrate her and she ended up putting her face in her hands, trying to calm herself down as she felt her face heat up. That usually meant she was about to cry, and she really didn’t want to cry there, in front of him. Not in this situation. She couldn’t even bring herself to respond to his words, nor did she even notice he had moved forward slightly in his seat across from her.

“ You’re not alone in this Miss Evelyn. I’m here to help you, even if you don’t think you need it. ”

She almost wanted to roll her eyes, the frustration she was feeling stating to bleed into something else. Yet, his words comforted her, if only a little. That also served to upset her as well, however, and she found herself letting out a shaky huff.

“ I just wish everything could go back to normal….this isn’t fair….”

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes from behind her hands, she realized with horror, and so she desperately tried to keep them from falling by blinking rapidly. She needed to calm down, getting upset here wouldn’t do her any good. If anything, it would make her situation even _worse_.

“ Evelyn.” Somehow, her name without a “miss” in front of it seemed to make her feel warm, and she briefly wondered if she was getting sick from how hot her face was getting. Maybe all that soda had finally done some damage. “Please, you’re not alone in this, I’m here for you to use however you feel you may need to. I understand how hard it can be for your life to be ripped away from you, truly, I do. But, you’re not alone, alright? I can help you! You just have to trust me. ”

Hostility immediately flared up inside her, and she wanted to shout at him to shut up, to go away, but instead she remained silent. The tears in the corners of her eyes finally fell, and she found herself feeling exasperated. Was the kindness he was offering _really_ all it took to break her down to this point? Clearly she was weaker than she gave herself credit for.

Hearing a shift in the seat he was occupying, she vaguely wondered if he was going to get up, but it didn’t matter what he was going to do anyway. The fact she was crying in front of him, in front of anyone, was humiliating to her. She only ever cried in private, usually in the comfort of her own room, but to be crying here, in such a vulnerable state, only seemed to fuel the upset she was feeling right then. If she was going to have to endure being there, the least he could do was use her preferred nickname. It would bring at least _some_ comfort to her, aside from the comfort he himself was bringing her with his kind words. Kind words that seemed to be having the opposite effect on her.

“ Call me Evie, please…”

A pause, and then he spoke again, his tone gentle and understanding.

“ Evie…please let me help you. That’s what I’m here for. “ Another pause. “ Did you know crying can make you feel better afterwards? Usually, when people are done crying, a chemical releases inside their body that helps them feel emotionally better. ”

A lengthy pause then ensued, in which he took her hands away from her face and held them in his own, which surprised her, but she made no move to remove her hands from his soft grip. It felt nice, actually, but how professional was it that he was holding her hands? It didn’t do anything to quell the tears though, which only seemed to increase as they fell down her cheeks, but it did make her heart skip a beat.

“ W-what can you do then? Where do….where do we even begin? “

He gave her a bright smile, his eyes closing as he did so. “ We’ll figure that out as we go, but for now, how we just stick to having normal conversations? I don’t want to force you to open up about anything until you’re ready. “

A tiny smile appeared on her own lips as his own seemed to light the office up; it was kind of contagious, his smile. It made her want to smile too. A beeping sound suddenly sounded off, startling her and making him look over to his phone. An alarm had apparently gone off on it.

“ Well, that’s the time. Are you going to be alright? I can extend the session if you need a little more time to calm down. ”

Ah, so that was what it had been. The session had gone by so fast, it seemed, and she was almost disappointed over that fact. Shaking her head, however, she pulled her hands from his and wiped at the tear streaks on her cheeks as she made to stand up.

“ N-No, I’ll be fine. I … kind of want to get home and take a nap anyway. “

Nodding, a smile was still there on his face as he pulled away as well, moving to do something on the computer at his desk. “ How’s next week sound for you then? We can do weekly sessions if you feel that works with your schedule! “

A sardonic smirk flittered onto her lips, aimed more at herself than him. “ Well, I don’t really _have_ much of a schedule right now, so that doesn’t really matter…..but yes, weekly sessions sounds alright. “

“ Great! I’ll see you then! It was nice meeting you, Evie! “

No response was given to him as she stood up and left, feeling like his eyes were on her back until she knew she was out of his sight. It took every ounce of the energy she had left after crying like that to make it home without collapsing and passing out. She hadn’t cried like that in such a long time, even the other night when she had cried herself to sleep wasn’t as bad as this had been. Evelyn found herself wondering if she should actually even go to the next appointment, but the fear of her manager ending her career kept her from thinking too much on that. Sure, it was irrational, that fear, but she couldn’t help it. In the ten plus years she’d been doing this she had never once taken a break or hiatus, after all. It was such an alien concept to her, it just made her feel sick. She was happiest when she could sing and dance on a stage, but now she couldn’t do that and it felt like she had nothing to live for anymore. Oddly enough, she’s kind of looking forward to her next appointment with the doctor now. Maybe it was because he was so cute, heheh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than the 1st one, but I feel like that's okay considering what happens in it. 
> 
> I also made just the slightest changes to the 1st chapter jsy'all know! I changed what her mask color(s) were and fixed some grammatical errors here and there. 
> 
> Not much else to say here tbh ^ u ^
> 
> Edited: August 4th, 2020

A week came and went, and in that time, Evie had opened up just a little to the idea of continuing counseling with Dr. Maruki. Only enough to where she could dress more comfortably for their sessions from now on, at least. It was only the second session, but she remembered she had worn much more formal clothes to her first session. Now she simply wore a pair of black yoga leggings and a pink hoodie overtop a t-shirt of the same color. The black sandals she’d picked out that day were down on the floor, just off to the side of the chair she had her legs lifted up onto. Her knees comfortably close to her chest, she reached over to the bowl of snacks in-between them, looking for something salty since she didn’t have much of a sweet tooth. They found themselves talking about food, currently. As an “idol”, so to speak, she had to make sure she ate healthy in order to maintain her figure, but Evie was lucky in that she had a fast metabolism. Therefore, she could technically eat whatever she wanted, if she so desired. That would just make her body feel weak, however, because eating healthy wasn’t just for the sake of her body’s figure. It was also for the sake of how much energy she would have to dance. Seeing as how she choreographed her own dances, and used to dance almost every single day before this hiatus, eating healthy was something she did so she could make sure she even _could_ dance in the first place. Lately, she hadn’t been eating nearly as much as she needed to, despite her small stature, and it was beginning to show in how her already high cheekbones became more pronounced. She was losing weight, that much was obvious, though Dr. Maruki either hadn’t seemed to notice it or chose not to comment on it. She was grateful for that, to be honest, because she didn’t want to deal with _that_ particular issue right now anyway.

The subject then shifted to her life as an idol, and Evelyn found she was all too eager to gush about it to him. Sure, she had people who understood her passion for what she did, but she could never resist rambling about it to new people. To anyone that would listen, really. She loved what she did and she was proud of it, damnit!

“ You started out at ten years old?! That’s so young, did your parents have any objections to that decision? “

Dr. Maruki seemed shocked that she had started out so young, and she couldn’t blame him. Ten years old _was_ really young to start trying to be an idol, but Evie had known what she wanted to do with her life for at least a few years before that point so it wasn’t a hard decision to make. Him bringing up her parents made her frown, however, because they had initially been completely against the idea.

“ Yeah, they uh….they did, at first. They thought I was too young to be getting into that line of business, but eventually I managed to convince them to sign me up for an Actors School as a start. It was kind of like a prep school, ya know? I went to it after school every day except Sundays, and then I had to go home and do homework every night until like, 3am! “

She said it with a laugh, as though living that kind of busy life as a child had been something fun instead of unhealthy, as most people would probably tell her.

“ That’s probably why I’m so short, haha! I didn’t get much sleep growing up. “

Again, it’s said with a laugh, but her smile died down once she realized Dr. Maruki was looking at her with a somewhat serious expression. She realized she may have sounded a little crazy, to be laughing about having such a strict schedule even as a kid, but to her, it had been normal right from the start. Still, she found herself blushing in embarrassment, fearing that the doctor might be judging her now. That fear was squashed, however, when he finally spoke.

“ I can see why being forced into this hiatus has been so hard for you, Evie. You’ve clearly been passionate from a very young age, and it must be too much to bear to have that passion frowned upon like this. “

He was agreeing with her? Really? Even she had to admit that it seemed strange that he was agreeing with her, though considering the fact she wasn’t one to have healthy habits in the first place, it wasn’t off putting for him to agree with her. Not at all. Somehow, it made her feel warm inside, like someone was finally understanding her and why she did what she did! Maybe she could actually start to confide in him her frustrations about how people treated her work ethic.

“ However, I don’t think it’s a good thing to be as busy as you like to be. It can be really bad for your health, both mentally and physically, to not get enough sleep. Or to work yourself to the brink of exhaustion on the daily. I think we should start working on forming newer, healthier habits for you, Evie. ”

Whatever warmth she had felt for him in her chest disappeared immediately, and she had to fight to keep her expression from morphing into one of offense. She’d be the first to admit she had unhealthy habits, but it had worked for her for over ten years, and she didn’t see it not working for her for the foreseeable future. Therefore, why change them?

“ ….with all due respect, Doctor, I don’t really think I’m doing anything wrong… “

Her voice was quiet as she spoke, an underlying hint of anger in her words as she clenching her hands into fists in below her knees. He sighed softly at her response, leaning back and clasping his hands in front of him.

“ I know it may seem like that to you, but from everyone else outside looking in, you’re a mess. Remember, Evie, I’m here to help you, and I promise I’m not trying to hurt you by pointing this out to you. Some people often times don’t realize that the habits they have may be unhealthy, and that’s okay! That’s why I’m here, to help you realize that and then help you work on developing healthier habits. “

Evelyn grimaced at his words, not able to find it in her to actually deny what he was saying. To think, she’d planned on telling him the good news her manager had given her just this morning. Now, she felt like it would be pointless, because surely her manager would go back on his word anyway. She knew Dr. Maruki wasn’t going to breach the confidentiality of their sessions, as far as she knew at least, but she had the sinking suspicion that word would get back to her manager somehow, someway. The fact she hadn’t been eating much was reason alone for him to go back on his word. Letting out a pained sigh, she lowered her legs back down to the floor, her bare feet touching the carpet as she looked down at her hands in frustration.

“ I was gonna tell you, actually, that my manager said….he said I could start going back to schedules if I seemed okay by our 9th session….guess that isn’t gonna happen now, huh…. “

Silence then ensued for a few minutes, tension filling the air as she continued to look down and he seemed to be trying to find what to say to her.

“ I see…well, would it make you happy if you were able to go back to your schedules? “

The question seemed innocent enough, though she had a gut feeling there was something else hidden within his question. Something like a double edged sword, perhaps. She could only shake her head in reply, however, her gaze still downcast.

“ I mean, I’d say yes but…what does it matter? My manager won’t let me come back until he thinks I’m okay, and clearly you don’t think I’m okay. “

“ That may be, but if you going back to your schedules would make you happy, I’d strongly advocate for that to happen for you. We can strike a deal with your manager, make it so you would keep seeing me even once you go back. Do you think that would work for you? “

She was going to tell him no, that wouldn’t work, but she caught herself before she could say that aloud. Actually, it wasn’t a bad idea, but she was so certain her manager wouldn’t accept it, and so she was already setting herself up to be disappointed. Still, it couldn’t hurt to try, could it?

“ We could try that, but… “

Hesitation flickered in her eyes as she finally looked up, capturing his eyes with her own. Both of their eyes were brown, she noted, though hers were a darker brown than his. For some reason, making eye contact with him made her blush, and she quickly looked away, artificially coughing into her hand as a way to hide the sudden awkwardness she felt.

“ If you think that’d work, we can try it, but I don’t have high hopes…”

A loud beeping sounded off suddenly, Dr. Maruki’s damn phone going off to alert them that her time with him was up. This was the fifth time she had seen him, and it still somehow managed to scare her every time. She would become so engrossed in their conversations that she never noticed how quickly the time went by during their sessions. Sighing once again, she stood up, slipping her sandals back on and gathering her bag.

“ Evie, please just try to keep in mind I’m trying to help you. It may be hard right now, but I promise I’ll help make things better for you. “

She couldn’t bring herself to look at him as she replied, her voice monotonous in tone. “ I know, and I appreciate it. Thank you for your time, see you next week Dr. Maruki. “

Before he could say anything else, she left through the door of his office and wasted no time in leaving the building. _Fuck this, fuck everything, fuck him and fuck my stupid, god damn manager!_ These thoughts would circle in her head as she drove back to her home, somehow managing to not get into a wreck despite her frustration. Driving under the influence of such feelings was never a good idea, after all.

. . .

Evelyn spent her time once she had gotten home fiddling around with a new music making program she’d heard about recently. Hours were spent simply messing around, learning how the program worked, and eventually, making the instrumental to a song. Just as she was about to set up her microphone to record vocals for it, it hit her that her brother was supposed to be coming over soon. Shit! She’d completely forgotten about it, having lost track of time.

Scrambling out of the chair in front of her desk, she rushed to make herself presentable, as she was certain she looked tired. Quickly washing her face and then running to the kitchen to down an ice cold soda, she checked her phone as the sound of an electronic jingle came from it.

_Sorry sis, something came up, can’t come over tonight. I’ll make it up to you, promise!_

Her heart dropped and the smile that had appeared on her face at seeing he had texted her fell from her face. Of course, of course this would happen when she was already in a low place that day. Her session had been tense, ending on a low note, and now the only thing she had to look forward to that day was gone. She tried to be understanding, to not let the frustration overwhelm her, but it was a pointless effort in the end. She wouldn’t hold it against him, she couldn’t, she loved him too much to be genuinely angry with him. He’d been coming over as often as he could, but she knew that he was making friends and that should make her happy. It did, it really did! At the same time though, she felt like she was being left behind.

Roughly jamming her phone into the pocket in her leggings, she put on some sneakers and left her home, deciding she needed to let off some pent-up frustration that had been building since her appointment with Dr. Maruki. Mementos would be the perfect place to do so, and so she practically ran to where she needed to be to activate the nav. Out of breath already, she only became even more frustrated, her mind clouding over with the feeling as she entered the Metaverse. She wasn’t thinking straight at all, and she knew this, but she did nothing to stop this from happening and instead quickly made her way to a deeper level of the underground subway. Mindlessly killing shadows, no particular targets in mind, short screams of anger would leave her mouth as she went on her killing spree. Life just wasn’t fair, and she couldn’t help the tears that trailed down her face as she used her dagger to pierce through a particularly tough shadow. Why couldn’t everyone just leave her alone and let her do what she wanted? She just wanted to sing and dance, she just wanted to make people happy with her performances, so why were so many people trying to keep her from doing that?

The last shadow in the area was dispatched by her hand, but just as it had vanished, exhaustion overcame her like a ton of bricks landing on her head. Dropping to the ground a panting, sweaty mess, her hair disheveled in the ugliest of ways, the dagger fell out of her hand and clattered to the ground. The sound of it loud and echoing through the now silent pathways that went in any direction one could think of. She laid there on the train tracks for a moment, before foot steps began echoing in the distance. Her eyes widened, her body shooting up into a crouch through pure adrenaline alone as she frantically looked around for the source of the foot steps. It didn’t take long to notice the dark outline of a figure coming down the same pathway she was on, but they were too far away for her to know who it might be besides the fact that they seemed human shaped. That did little to quell the terror coursing through her veins, however, and she wasted no time in running away as fast as her legs could carry her.

Making it to the entrance of the place in record time, she had to pause and catch her breath for at least a minute. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, and it seemed her legs could give out on her at any second. Still, she had to flee, there was no way she could allow anyone to get close enough to see her here. Her mask would only do so much to hide her identity after all; she had very recognizable eyes. Not to mention, whoever it was that was here with her, they might try to track her down if they got close enough to get a general description of her appearance. Her whole life would be ruined if she was ever found to have done the things she’d done. Namely, the shadows she had killed that then subsequently caused psychotic breakdowns in people. It was always people she considered to be “bad”, or in other terms, criminals.

Of course she believed she was doing a good deed by getting rid of these people who did nothing but bring misery unto other peoples lives, but she was also very aware that she could still get in trouble for carrying out such acts. Vigilantism it was called, which was normally against the law, and regardless of the victims being criminals, could land her in prison for a very long time. This was such a huge fear of hers, she often found herself wondering why she had started doing it in the first place. Why she continued to do it despite her fear of being caught. She knew she couldn’t be alone when it came to the powers she had, but the near encounter she’d just had was nearly enough to scare her straight. She’d never been almost caught like that before, and it felt like she’d had a brush with death.

Re-appearing in the real world, she had to force her body to get up and run back to her home, wherein she collapsed as soon as her front door was slammed shut. Falling down in front of it, she started to cry, the adrenaline from the fear she’d experienced overwhelming her and causing a near panic attack. Somehow, she managed to keep it from getting to that point, but her body had other plans anyway. She was only able to cry for a little bit before her body forced itself to shut down, her consciousness abruptly fading into darkness as she passed out against the door. The last thought to cross her mind before it all went black was chilling, to say the least. _What have I done…?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooo, who do you think was also in Mementos with Evie, huh? HUH????


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I came upon a problem as I was writing this chapter, and that problem was that I had somehow already gotten to July in the timeline of this fic, and I didn't like that. So, I'm sure some of y'all have noticed that I edited the 2nd chapter to change what session Evie was one and also changed how much time had passed since the first session with Maruki. I'm afraid that I'll more than likely be editing previous chapters as well as future chapters even after I've posted them. Since this is my first fanfic, it's actually really hard planning it, especially when it comes to the timeline, so i'd just like to ask y'all to bear with me. This fic will probably always be a WIP tbh. Just keep an eye out for "Edited _insert edit date_" on chapters!
> 
> Mentions of self harm scars in this chapter, jsy'all know!

Ugh, her head hurt so much. Slowly coming back to consciousness wasn’t easy, especially since she had basically passed out the night before, as she was recalling. Feeling herself still propped up against her front door, she groaned as she attempted to move her stiff body. Everything hurt now, not just her head. She was also extremely dehydrated if the dryness in her mouth was anything to go by. Usually that would be because of the amount of soda she consumed daily, though she still did try to drink enough water to counteract that. That didn’t mean she was always successful, however. Nevertheless, she needed to find out what time it was. Luckily, her phone was clutched tightly in her hand, and apparently had been all night. Checking it, shock rippled through her body as she noticed it wasn’t the next morning, but the next evening. She’d slept almost an entire day?! Letting her arm flop back down as panic swept through her mind, her breathing increasing slightly as her entire body began trembling. How could that have happened, had she truly been that exhausted? She knew she hadn’t been taking care of herself that well recently, but had it really gotten to such a point that she’d slept almost an entire day just to recover from the adrenaline fueled fear she’d experienced last night?

Shaking her head, she tried to get up, and only managed to get to her knees before her phone beeped, signaling that she had a new text message. Shakily sighing at how weak she felt, she lifted her arm up to check who had messaged her; it was her brother!

_Hey, you okay? Tried messaging you earlier, but you didn’t answer._

Cursing loudly, she forced herself to stand up, her legs shaking underneath her as she leaned against the door to keep her balance. She had really done it this time, hadn’t she?

_Sorry, was distracted by something, didn’t hear my phone go off._

That’s the excuse she gives him, though she does feel bad about lying to him. She knew if she were to tell him that she had slept almost an entire day, he’d probably worry about her. That wasn’t something she could afford right now. What if he told Maruki about it, and then Maruki himself brought it up in next weeks session? She already had enough to deal with when it came to her sessions with Maruki, and she didn’t want to add to that. Hearing another beep, she checks her phone again to see he had replied to her.

_Okay, well, just wanted to let you know I may not be able to make it on Saturday either._

As if her mood could get any worse. She had to keep herself from tearing up as she tapped her reply to him, her fingers shaking as she did so.

_That’s fine! Don’t worry about it, just make sure you’re taking care of yourself, okay?_

While she **did** want him to take care of himself, if it meant that he couldn’t come see her, she found herself wishing he could put _her_ above whatever else it was he had to do. It only served to make her more upset, however, by thinking such things. She felt bad about feeling that way, of course, but she also couldn’t help it. She had been so lonely lately, her only human contact being that of Maruki and her brother. Now that her brother seemed to be drifting away from her slightly, she felt she’d needed to lean more into Maruki if she wanted to help ease the loneliness.

Grimacing at how disgusting she felt, not just from the emotions she was feeling, but because she was still dirty from her activities the previous night, she hoped a shower would make her feel better. Stumbling to her room and peeling her clothes off after setting her phone on her bed, she couldn’t help the sigh of disgust as she caught sight of the scars littered all over her stomach. Refusing to think about it, however, she chose to ignore them and waste no more time in getting into the shower. There she stayed, under the hot water, for at least thirty minutes, before the skin on her hands and feet began to prune up. She had always hated that feeling, so she always made sure her showers or baths were never that long. At least she could take self-care seriously when it came to making sure she was clean all the time, though she didn’t necessarily despise it when she got sweaty during concerts or when she was practicing dancing in the studio. That was the only kind of sweat she could deal with for any extended periods of time.

Even after her shower, Evelyn found that she couldn’t get to sleep, though she shouldn’t have been surprised. She had slept almost an entire day after all. The last time she’d done that had been when she was at her lowest back in high school, back when….

_No, stop it!_ Shaking her head aggressively to keep herself from thinking about when she had done _that_ to herself, a weary sigh left her lips. What was wrong with her, why was she thinking about things like _that_? Was she getting low again? No, she couldn’t be, she wouldn’t let herself get low again. Not since it would mean she wouldn’t be able to go back to performing any time soon. Her manager had said that if she was doing better by her 9th session, then she could come out of her hiatus, and that was what she was banking on! She couldn’t afford to mess up, to get low again. Not now!

The rest of the night was filled with nothing but depression and loneliness, however, despite her best efforts to ignore it all. All she could do now was just wait for her next appointment with Maruki.

. . .

Because of how she had slept so long the one day, Evelyns sleep schedule had gotten completely messed up as a result. The night before her next session with Maruki, she hadn’t gotten any sleep, and she couldn’t bring herself to put any make up on to hide the darkness underneath her eyes. Hopefully Maruki didn’t comment on it. A hope that would, in the end, be fruitless, because that was one of the first things he commented on once he let her into his office.

“ Did you get any sleep last night, Evie? You look tired… “

A yawn threatened to escape her lips, and she was barely able to hold it back before responding to him.

“ Ah, well, not really. I guess I was just too restless….or something like that. But I’m fine, promise! “

She couldn’t tell him it was because of what had happened last week; not only would he look at her like she was crazy, it would just bring about more worry for her health, and she didn’t want that right now. Her posture was terrible as she sat across from him, and despite the fact she was yelling at herself to act like she was fine, she was just too tired to care about it at the moment. Instead, she tried to wrack her brain for a different topic they could talk about, and the psychotic breakdowns were what came to mind. Not really the most pleasant subject, but it would work, hopefully.

“ But uh, anyway, have you heard about those mental shutdowns, or psychotic breakdowns, or, well….whatever they’re called? I’ve been hearing about them on the news more often lately… “

She regarded him with a look of curiosity, hoping she looked genuinely curious to him. It was a tricky subject for her to talk about, because of what she had done in the Metaverse, which had led to some of the psychotic breakdowns by her own hand. Her own confusion on what to call them was merely an act, because she didn’t want to seem too knowledgeable about the cases. It might be enough to cause him to suspect her of something. At least, that’s what she would irrationally believe for now.

“ Ah, the psychotic breakdowns, well….they’re truly frightening to think about, if I’m being honest. “

“ Oh? “

“ Well, it’s scary to think about people just going psychotic like that out of nowhere, and harming both themselves and other people as a result. It makes me wish there was something I could do to prevent such things from happening. “

Ah, of course he thought like that. It was his job to care about people after all, right? Still, she found herself feeling bad for him, wishing she hadn’t played a hand in some of the cases that had happened.

“ I see… Well, if there’s anyone out there that could help when it came to those situations, I think it’d be you, Dr. Maruki. “

The slightest of blushes spread across his cheeks at her words, and Evelyn found herself loving that she had caused it. Wait, where had that come from?

“ You think so? I think you might be selling me a bit too hard there, Evie, hehe….“

“ Not at all, you’re a good man Dr. Maruki, and you seem to genuinely want to help people. If anyone could do something about the breakdowns, I think you’d be the perfect candidate. “

“ Ahaha, well, truth be told, I’m actually writing a research paper that could be the breakthrough I’d need in order to help with the breakdowns, along with anyone else that may be suffering in the world. “

This made Evelyn pause in her response, her curiosity genuinely piqued now. He was trying to find a way to end all suffering? At least, that was the gist of what she was getting from his words, though she could certainly be wrong. Either way, it was an admirable thing to be trying to do, and she found herself wanting to say she agreed with him. She wanted to end all suffering in the world too, if she really thought about it, but she supposed she was just going about it in a different way than him. Not that she knew what he was actually doing to make this goal of his a reality.

“ Really? That’s amazing! I wonder if I could help you with it? I’ve never been good at writing papers, but if there’s any way I can help you with it, I honestly wouldn’t mind. “

“ Ah, you don’t have to do that, really! Your brother is actually already helping me, believe it or not, so I’m not sure I could ask the same of you as well. “

Akira was helping Maruki with his paper? That was the first she was hearing of it. He certainly hadn’t told her anything about it, not that he really _had_ to. Still, it made her feel just a little bitter, that he was getting involved in all these things, and that was probably why he hadn’t been able to come over recently. Again, she felt awful thinking such things, but she wasn’t exactly in a good place mentally, right now, was she?

“ Huh, he hasn’t mentioned that to me yet, but I’m glad he’s been helpful! “

She couldn’t bring herself to say anything else, because if she did, she was scared she might say something she’d regret. Instead, she moved to stretch, her muscles had become stiff with inactivity because of how long she’s been sitting there already. Letting out a quiet squeal as she stretched, her shirt lifted just slightly with her movement, revealing a portion of her scar riddled stomach. Feeling a breeze where the skin of her stomach had been revealed, she freezes for a split second before immediately lowering her arms to pull down the bottom of her shirt in order to cover her stomach. _Shit, god damnit_ , how could she have been so careless?! How could she had forgotten to wear her usual shape wear underneath her clothes to prevent this exact thing from happening?! Panic immediately erupted in her mind and tears formed at the corners of her eyes as she glanced at him to see if he had seen them. Judging by his now grim expression, she’d guessed he had, but she needed to make sure.

“ You uh….you d-didn’t…see that, did you? Please tell me you didn’t…. “

The silence before his response seemed to stretch on so much longer than she could believe, the seconds ticking by seemed to last for forever.

“ I did see.…but, they’re old, aren’t they? “

Immediately, the tears fell from her eyes and she had to choke back a sob that had bubbled up unexpectedly. No, god damnit, he saw and now he was going to tell her manager about them and now she’d never be able to perform ever again! Any rationality within her mind fled from it as she started crying, wringing her hands together in extreme anxiety. She had to get out of there, she had to leave and never come back! To hell with her manager, she could afford to suffer a blow to her career and put her foot down, right? She could just get a new manager! It might not look good for her public image, but she could deal with that!

Gathering her things and standing up, she moves towards the door of his office, but Maruki seemed to know what she was trying to do and had risen from his seat along with her, quickly moving to stand in front of the door to his office. He was blocking her way out of there!

“ Evie, please, try to calm down! “

His words fell on deaf ears. No matter how gentle they were, they could do nothing to quell the fear and panic raging inside her. Shaking her head aggressively, she moves to push him out of the way, but instead he gently grabbed her shoulders, a pained look on his face now.

“ Evie, I promise I won’t tell anyone, but you need to calm down! I only want to help you, please! “

Him saying he won’t tell anyone doesn’t convince her that easily, though she does find her struggling against his gentle but firm grip lessens, if only a little. Why’d this have to happen? That’s what was repeatedly going through her head now as she continued to try and move him out of the way so she could escape. Alas, he wasn’t budging, and while she may have not been in a good state of mind right then, she knew when to give up on a fight that she wasn’t going to win.

“ You’re not alone in this, Evie, trust me. I’m here for you. You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to, but please just know that I’m here for you. “

For some reason, his words just then broke something inside of her, and she found herself flinging herself at him, clutching at his lab coat as she cried hysterically. He was so kind, _too_ kind if you were to ask her, and it was too much for her heart to handle in that moment of weakness. She didn’t deserve his kindness, but here he was, offering it to her anyway. Her grip on his lab coat would only tighten as his arms suddenly lifted up to wrap around her. Shaking like a leaf in the wind, she continued to cry and sob into his figure, vaguely realizing she was getting his shirt wet. Damnit, now she was going to have to deal with that whenever she was done crying her eyes out.

This seemed to go on for much too long, very awkwardly so, before her crying seemed to slow down and her sobs dissolved into sniffling. She had no idea how long they had stayed like this, his arms wrapped around her and her hands gripping his coat, but eventually she pulled away slightly and looked up at him.

“ You…you promise…you won’t t-tell _anyone_? “

It’s said so quietly that she wonders if she should repeat the question, but he nods his head in reply to her, his eyes softening a little as he looked down at her. Something about how he was looking at her made her heart skip a beat, but she promptly ignored it and the slight blush that she could feel appear on her cheeks, holding his gaze firmly.

“ I promise, Evie. You don’t have to worry about anyone finding out, though…..if you’ll let me, I would like to help you with…with them. “

_Them_ being the scars, of course. She could tell what he was referring to, though a grimace flashed across her face at the prospect of having to talk about them with him. Still, considering she had just ruined his shirt with her tears, nevermind that she had practically broken down at all, she felt she could at least entertain the _idea_ of talking about them. Maybe?

“ I’ll…I’ll think about it…is that good enough? “

Fully pulling away from him, she let out a sigh of exhaustion, feeling herself wobble a little from side to side. She also noticed that he still had a grip on her, his hands gently holding onto the sides of her arms just below her shoulders. It was a good thing he was, too, because suddenly she felt lightheaded and would have fallen to the side if it hadn’t been for his grip on her.

“ Whoa, easy! Here, let’s sit you back down. “

Feeling herself be led back to her seat, her vision blurs for a moment before clearing back up. A water bottle is presented to her, she realizes, and it takes her a second to acknowledge it before actually taking it from him.

“ You must have dried yourself up from all that crying, so please, drink up! Dehydration from crying can make it so you feel very disoriented! “

Blinking, he comes back into focus and her heart skips yet another beat as she sees the expression on his face. It’s so gentle, so kind, and also so understanding. Not to mention he’s very handsome and she found she wanted him to hold her again, suddenly. Wait, what was she thinking? Where had that come from? Sure she had thought he was cute, but wanting him to hold her was a level or two above that, wasn’t it? Realizing she was blushing profusely, she lets out an awkward cough and unscrews the cap to the water bottle before taking a small sip.

“ So, would it be alright to ask how long it’s been since you hurt yourself like that? “

He says it so softly, so gently, that she almost _wants_ to answer him. Maybe she should? He said he wouldn’t tell anyone, right? Could she take this one leap of faith and talk to him about the scars? The hesitation she exhibits as she struggles to come to a decision must be extremely obvious because he reaches a hand behind his head to scratch at his neck.

“ I know I said you don’t have to talk about them to me, but I truly just want to help you, Evie. I feel like you’d need to open up about them in order to make that possible, however. But still! If you really don’t want to talk about them, I won’t force you. “

Her hesitation lessens a little at his reassurance, though it still lingers in the fore front of her mind. Heaving a sigh, she takes another sip from the water bottle before looking back up at him with a tired expression.

“ I…the last time I did it was when I was in High School, when I was 17. “

She won’t elaborate any more than that, at least for now, but even saying that much was painful for her. He regards her with an unreadable expression, before turning to look at his computer.

“ I see….well, I can see that’s all you can share for now, so we’ll stop here for today. But before you leave, why don’t we exchange contact information? “

Looking at him with a puzzled expression, she sets the water bottle down in front of her, already pulling out her phone before he could continue.

“ That way it’ll be easier to set up appointments, plus I just really want to be able to talk to you outside of our sessions! ”

This makes her blush once more, and she barely manages to control the sputter of words that leaves her lips in response.

“ U-Uh, I mean….s-sure? I guess that’s o-okay…. “

Evelyn wasn’t certain how professional it was for a counselor and their patient to have each other’s contact information, but she strangely wasn’t opposed to the idea. If anything, it’d give her someone else to talk to every day, outside of their sessions. Nonetheless, they tap away on their phones as they add each other to their contacts lists.

“ Alright, then! I’ll see you next week then, Evie. Until then, please try to take care of yourself. “

As she stands up again, this time to leave for sure, her reaches out to grip her shoulder gently.

“ Remember, you’re not alone in this. I care about your happiness, Evie, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you can be happy again. “

As per usual, she doesn’t say anything else to him as she leaves, merely nodding her thanks to him before closing the door to his office behind her. A headache was forming throughout her entire head, and all she wanted to do right then was go home and sleep.

. . .

Arriving home an hour later, after having her driver stop to get something to eat on the way home, she sluggishly walked into her living room after closing the door to her condo. She almost didn’t want to eat, and instead just go to her room and pass out. She needed to eat, however, and so she forced herself to eat the burger she’d ordered. Checking her phone as she ate, she suddenly realizes it’s June. She’d been on her forced hiatus for over a month now, and had been seeing Maruki for counseling for three weeks. Clearly this hiatus was actually driving her crazy, if her poor mental state was anything to go by. Not that she’d ever admit that to anyone, least of all Maruki, but she was slowly coming to terms with it on her end at least. It only took her breaking down in front of him for that to happen, unfortunately.

Idly, she considers going back to Mementos, but that idea is quickly squashed down as fast as it had popped up. Honestly, she should seriously consider quitting that little “side job” of hers completely, it wasn’t worth risking her livelihood over the more she thought about it. It wasn’t worth risking her happiness over, no matter how much she wanted to help people. Now, more than ever, since she couldn’t use her music to make people happy.

Finishing her food, she goes to text her brother, hoping he can at least have a short conversation with her. It’d be nice to know how he was doing lately, since he hadn’t been talking to her as much recently.

_Hey lil bro, how ya doin?_

His chat icon pops up a minute later, the three dots signifying he was typing showing up for a few seconds before his reply appeared.

_Doing okay, hbu?_

She smiles slightly, hoping he was being truthful with her _. tired, but other than that I’m okay. How’s Shujin been treating ya? You’ve been there for about a couple months now, right?_

_It’s been fine, I’ve made a few friends and they’re great. How’s hiatus been treating you?_

Her smile falls and she can’t keep her fingers from tapping harshly against the screen of her phone as she replies. _I hate it, but you know that lol_

_Sorry, touchy subject, how’ve your sessions with Dr. Maruki been going?_

Sighing, she tells him a partial lie about how her sessions had been going, hoping he doesn’t press the subject further. _They’ve been alright, had my 3 rd one today and it was kinda hard….but anyway, I think I’m gonna head to bed early tonight, so ttyl lil bro!_

She really did need to get to sleep, the food she’d eaten starting to weigh heavy in her stomach and the lack of sleep from the previous night was catching up to her.

_Okay, get some rest sis. ttyl_

Once again, she finds herself dealing with a depression and loneliness that she hadn’t felt in a long time that night, though it thankfully helps her to get to sleep for once. Usually it would keep her awake, but luckily she was just too tired. The last thoughts that went through her head before she finally drifted off was that she hoped Maruki didn’t ever find out about this depression, because it might make him sad. She didn’t want to make him sad.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evie and Maruki go on an unofficial date, neither of them knows that's technically what it ends up being. Now they're on a first name basis on both sides and Evie realizes she's got an actual crush on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't even touch my document for this fic for 3-4 days because I think I almost burnt myself out from writing 3 chapters/11,000+ words in such a short amount of time. That's an enormous amount for me tbh, but I only needed a short break before I could get back into the swing of things! I kind of felt bad that I hadn't touched it in just those few days, but I need to remind myself that that's honestly not that long of a time to not touch a fic.
> 
> ANYWAY here's chapter 4! I'm not sure how long this fic is honestly gonna end up being, but hopefully it ends up being at least more than 15 chapters! I've already got an AU type of spin-off in mind, concerning the 3rd semester, so look forward to that when the day comes I finish this fic!

Everything seemed to be a blur, lately, and Evelyn didn’t know if she should be concerned about that or not. The week after her breakdown over Maruki finding out about her self-harm scars especially seemed to go by in a blur, to the point where she couldn’t recall what she had actually done, if anything, in that time. It only serves to make her realize that she’s so damn lonely. So painfully lonely, in fact, that she couldn’t even bring herself to answer her brothers texts, whenever he _did_ text her. It wasn’t out of spite, but she still couldn’t help the bitterness she’d been feeling over his life becoming too busy to accommodate her into it. She could never blame him for avoiding her, if that was what he was doing, but that didn’t do much to lessen the hurt she felt over it. Still, she hoped he was at least happy, and having fun.

Before she knew it, yet again, it was time for her weekly session with Maruki. It was now her fourth session with him, and considering how the last one had gone, she didn’t have high hopes for this one to go any better. She’d have to trudge her way to the session regardless of how much she’d rather stay home and sleep the day away. In fact, she was certain the heaviness surrounding her was immediately noticeable as he welcomed her into his office, allowing her to sit down before asking her how she’d been.

“ You don’t look so well, Evie. Have you been getting enough sleep? “

She sighs before answering him, almost wanting to laugh, because if anything, she’d been getting too much sleep lately. “ Honestly? I’ve been sleeping too much. I keep finding myself waking up either close to noon or after noon…. “

He looked concerned for a moment, before his expression shifted to a more lighthearted one, as if he were trying to lighten the mood.

“ Well, too much of a good thing can still be bad, such as sleeping too much, but I think I’ve already said that to you, haven’t I? “

He had, actually, but she’d forgotten until then that he’d said sleeping too much could be indicative of something else. What that something else could be, she already knew, and she was certain he knew what it could be as well.

“ Do you have any hobbies that could fill up your time? Maybe if you found something fulfilling to do during the day you could end up sleeping a little less because you’d be excited to wake up in order to take part in a hobby. “

“ I…don’t know. I do have some hobbies, but I just have no motivation to do them anymore. Really, nowadays, I don’t do much of anything when I’m not sleeping…. “

Again, he looks concerned, but this time he doesn’t try to lighten the mood with a shift in expression. “ Do you have any friends that you can spend time with, even just to talk to? “

“ I…no, not really. I don’t….have any real friends, to be honest. Everyone just tends to try and use me for something, so my relationship with people never seems to be genuine. I stopped trying to make real friends a long time ago…. “

“ I see….What about your brother? Don’t you see him? “

At this, she sighs again, unable to hide the sadness in it, nor the bitter tone to her voice as she replies to his question. “ He, uh…I think he’s been too busy to come over. It’s been awhile since he was able to come over, and I don’t want to bother him or make him think I’m nagging him, so I just…. haven’t asked him to come over, recently. “

His look of concern only seems to deepen, and she feels a slight pang in her chest at seeing such an expression on him. He seemed to genuinely be in pain from her comments, and she wasn’t certain how to feel about that, except that it hurt her to see him look at her like that.

“ You know, Evie, I can’t say I’m not worried over your lack of contact with people. Humans are social creatures; they need socialization with other people in order to thrive and be happy. “

Of course he was right, as usual, but she couldn’t really say anything in reply to him because she just didn’t know _what_ to say.

“ Maybe you should focus on trying to reach out to your brother? I know he’s a student still, but I don’t think he’d just ignore his sister if she genuinely wanted his company. “

This made her pause, anxiety springing to life inside her, and she couldn’t keep herself from shaking her head at his suggestion. No, she couldn’t let her brother know she was lonely, or that she wasn’t okay right now. She needed to be the strong, older sibling who was there for her little brother whenever _he_ needed her, not the other way around. Relying on her brother would just feel wrong.

“ I don’t know if I could do that….maybe I could try reaching out to other people instead? “

He frowned at her response, seemingly looking like he wanted to say something about what she’d said, but in the end he must have decided against it as he shook his head slightly.

“ Well, that’s a good place to start, at least…but I feel better if I knew you at least had your brother to rely on. Please, at least open up to him a little more. You can do that for me, right, Evie? “

A blush appeared on her face at his request, which she quickly tried to make go away, covering the lower half of her face with a hand as she faked a cough.

“ I…I guess so? I can try….at least…. ”

A smile lit up his features, which only served to make her blush more prominent. “ Great! It makes me happy that you’ll try, at least. “

Despite his optimism, she can’t help but feel tired at the prospect of having to reach out to anyone, let alone her brother. Still, she nods her agreement to him, hoping it’s enough for now and that she can survive another week until their next session.

She goes to sleep shortly after getting home, exhausted as usual. That seemed to be a running theme with her sessions with him, and she had to wonder if that was a good or bad thing.

. . .

Startled awake by a particularly loud electronic ringtone blaring from her phone, Evie clumsily managed to grab her phone from where it had ended up underneath her pillow before looking to see who was calling her. Maruki was calling her. Wait, what? Shit, what time was it?! Had she ended up sleeping an entire week and somehow missed when her next session was supposed to happen? The fact that something like that happening wasn’t entirely out of the question unnerved her, but only vaguely. Realizing she had missed Maruki’s call because she had simply been staring at the screen because she was still sleeping, she heaved a sigh of relief when her phone’s home screen popped up for a second, telling her it was only the next day. Though, it was also almost noon, which meant she had slept in too much once again. Maruki’s contact popped up on her phones screen once again and, this time, she wastes no time in swiping across the screen to answer his call.

“ Um…hello? Dr. Maruki? “

“ Evie! I hope I didn’t wake you up, I figured you might be asleep when you missed my first call, hehe. “

“ Ah…you kinda did…. “

“ O-Oh, I’m sorry! Should I call back later? “

Shifting around in her bed so that she was now sitting cross legged, she made a confused sound. “ Um, no, it’s okay, did you need something? “

“ I was just calling to see if you wanted to spend some time with me this afternoon, actually. “

Surprise appeared on her face, and she couldn’t help the “HUH?!” that left her lips as she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Not that she regularly dreamed of Maruki calling her to ask such things.

“ U-Uh, I mean… I… don’t have anything going on, so….sure? “

She could practically hear him smile on the other end, and it somehow made her smile as well. “ Great! How about we meet in Shibuya, by that book shop on Central Street, at 5pm. Would that work for you? “

“ Y-Yeah, that’ll….that’ll work. “

“ Alright, I’ll see you then! “

With that, he said goodbye and then hung up, leaving a thoroughly confused Evelyn on the other line. For a few minutes, all she could do was stare at her phone’s screen, wondering if that had actually just happened. Was she still asleep? Pinching herself again and muttering a small “ow” told her no, she was not still asleep.

Heaving a sigh, despite the abrupt awakening, Evelyn couldn’t help but feel a tingle of excitement deep inside her chest at the prospect of hanging out with Maruki. Maybe it was only because she hadn’t hung out with anyone besides her brother since her hiatus had started. Maybe it was because he seemed to genuinely care about her and had seemed to take it upon himself to make her happy. Those were only assumptions on her end, of course, but whatever the reason, Evelyn found herself jumping off her bed and making a dash to her bathroom to start getting ready. The meeting was still about five hours away, give or take, but she found herself wanting to be in immaculate condition for it. Why? Maybe it was because he was just too cute and she wanted to look her best for him outside of their sessions. She wanted to make a better impression on him, she guessed. Oh. _Oh **no**_ **.** She knew what this was. In the middle of her shower, the realization that she apparently had a crush on the kind Doctor hit her hard and she almost fell from the shock of it. Dizziness from more than just the heat of the water spraying down on her made her vision swim for just a moment before it disappeared and a blush that _wasn’t_ from the hot water covered her entire body. Shit, she was in trouble now, wasn’t she?

. . .

The time until their outing came before she knew it, and she found herself fiddling nervously with the hem of her pink shirt. She dressed simple for the meeting, wearing a simple t-shirt with her usual shape wear to hide her scars underneath it. A white tennis skirt and black leggings combined with plain white sneakers were what she wore for the lower part of her outfit, and a pair of sunglasses covered the entire upper part of her face. She had to be careful, being out in public like this. Her hiatus had caused quite the stir in the entertainment industry, and her fans had been especially upset over it. The last thing she wanted was to be mobbed by them or the paparazzi because she had been careless enough to not hide her identity. Though, if she were being honest, her “disguise” hadn’t really had that much effort put into it. Nevertheless, her outing with Maruki would be ruined if she were recognized, and that was why she was dressed so plainly. No patterns or symbols were anywhere to be seen on her clothes.

Checking her phone, Evelyn noted it was time to meet with Maruki, and so rushed the rest of the way to the book shop he’d mentioned. He was already there, so she wasted no time in apologizing for being late.

“ Ahaha, it’s alright! Really, I only got here a few minutes ago myself. If anything, you’re exactly on time! “

Smiling softly, she regarded him with a curious look. “ So, uh….what exactly are we gonna be doing? “

“ Ah, that’s right! I didn’t actually tell you what we’d be doing, did I? Well, I figured we could see a movie together, if that’s alright with you? I’ve got other ideas if you don’t feel like that though! “

Blinking, her smile widened just a little. God, he was so cute, but damnit she couldn’t let herself be thinking that when he was right in front of her. “ Ah, that sounds fine, actually. I… haven’t gone to see a movie in a long time. “

His eyes widened just a little, surprise showing up on his face. “ Really? Then, what say we get to the theater and you can choose what kind of movie we’ll see? “

Oh, he was giving her the choice instead of having them both decide on something? That shouldn’t be surprising to her, actually, considering the nature of the man. Still, her go to choice was always something scary, and she had to wonder if he could handle a horror movie. It took them only ten minutes to get to the theater, which was lucky considering the crowd they had to fight through. She was lucky no one had knocked the sunglasses from her face. It took no time at all once they were in the lobby for her eyes to zero in on a specific horror movie that she’d actually been wanting to see. It was still in theaters? Well, she was certainly lucky! Turning to Maruki and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she finally took her sunglasses off since they were now inside a building.

“ A-Are you okay with a scary movie? “

His eyes followed hers to the poster she’d looked at and then widened, though she wasn’t sure if it was in surprise or something else. “ Oh, interesting choice! I didn’t take you for the type to like those kinds of movies, but I’m okay with it if that’s what you want to pick! “

Letting out a tiny chuckle, she nodded her head to confirm it was what she wanted. The movie wouldn’t start for another thirty seven minutes, so they passed time in the lobby by making idle small talk. They were lucky they managed to find two seats side by side when it was time to go into the specific theater for the movie she had picked, though for some reason Evelyn could feel butterflies in her stomach at how close they were sitting. It was just the normal distance between seats, which was always relatively small, but it felt smaller for some reason.

The movie starts and her attention is taken by the movie for a little bit, before she becomes acutely aware of the fact their elbows were so close to touch on the arm rest between them. So distracted by this, she isn’t prepared for a sudden jump scare that makes her squeak and instantly latch onto his arm. Her hands gripped his arm tightly for a minute before she realized what exactly she had done and hastily moved to release him. An intense blush saturated her cheeks, thankfully hidden for the most part by the dark theater.

“ S-Sorry! “ She whispered, looking down at her hands now nervously wringing together in her lap.

A pause on his end, before he gives her a closed eyed smile, replying to her just as quietly. “ It’s okay. “

Is that a blush on his face as well or is it just the lights from the big screen making it look like he was blushing? It was too hard to tell in the lighting of the theater, unfortunately. The rest of the movie goes on in silence, with Evelyn barely able to pay attention to the rest of it on account of the butterflies in her stomach becoming more intense. The movie ends suddenly, and surprise appears on her face as a result before she awkwardly looks over to Maruki to see if he appeared to be bothered by the movie or what she had done. Thankfully, he seemed to be unbothered, and as they moved to get up from their seats, their knees briefly touched. Another blush appeared on her face, and she looked away to make sure he didn’t see it as the lights came back on.

“ You know, it’s actually been awhile since I last went to the movies, and it’s been ages since I last saw a scary one! You truly did pick an interesting choice though, Evie! I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen for most of it, to be honest. “

Letting out a nervous giggle, she lifts a hand to nervously mess with her hair. “ Y-Yeah, same! I usually don’t have the time to see a movie, since my schedule is usually so busy. “

He lets out a giggle as well, scratching at the back of his neck as he regarded her with a warm smile.

“ I really enjoyed it though, and I hope you did too! Can I ask why you chose a scary movie, though? “

“ I just think they’re interesting, and usually more entertaining than romantic comedies or dramatic movies. I’m not the toughest person, since I can still get scared by them sometimes, but I can’t say I don’t like the adrenaline rush I get from the scares, hehe! “

“ I see, that’s certainly an interesting perspective to have on them! Are horror films the only ones you like to watch? I can’t imagine you’d be satisfied just watching one genre all the time, right? “

She thinks for a moment, concluding quickly. “ Actually, I really like Action movies too! But if I had to choose between the two, Horror movies would still win. “

He laughs then, genuine and warm in its sound, and for the umpteenth time that day, she blushes again. God damnit, why was he so cute? It should be a crime to be so cute! Shaking her head to clear those thoughts from her head, she messes with her hair again before checking her phone. “ Ah, it’s getting kinda late. You have work in the morning, right? I don’t wanna keep you out too late…. “

“ Oh, there’s nothing to worry about! Even if you were to keep me out late, I wouldn’t mind it, since we’re friends. Speaking of…why don’t you start calling me Takuto? I feel it’s only fair since I’ve been calling you Evie since our first meeting! “

God damnit, not again! Another blush decorated her cheeks but she was too surprised by his request that she couldn’t turn her head away to hide it.

“ A-Ah, um, I mean…if you’re okay with that? “

“ I absolutely am! Please, Evie, we’re friends, right? “

“ Y-Yes? We are… “ There’s the slightest bit of hesitation in her voice, but she believes in her reply, if only because it made her heart feel warm to acknowledge it.

“ Then please, call me Takuto. I’d really like it if you did. “

A blush might as well have been permanent on her face, because she was certain it was still there and wasn’t going to go anywhere any time soon.

“ Okay, Takuto…. “

Giving her another close eyed smile, he lifted a hand to gently grip her shoulder, his voice warm as he spoke again. “ Thank you, Evie! Now! I do think it’s getting a bit too late now, so we should probably head back home. Will you be okay going back by yourself? “

Shaking her head in an attempt to clear her mind that was desperately attempting to indulge in a daydream, she gave him her own close eyed smile.

“ Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me! “

“ Easier said than done, but alright! I’ll see you next week then? “

“ Yeah, see you then, Takuto! “

Parting ways, she noticed that they had been close to each other during that exchange. Not close enough to really invade each other’s personal space, but close enough for her to notice in the first place. It was a miracle she actually did make it home in one piece, considering how much her mind had begun wandering the moment they had parted ways. She could have easily gotten lost or worse, mugged, because of how distracted she had felt. Thankfully, she made it home in one piece, but all she could seem to do after taking her shoes off at the entrance was rush to her room and throw herself onto her bed with a girlish squeal. Little daydreams and fantasies filled her head of her and Maruki-no, it was Takuto now, right? She imagined them holding hands, and then she thought back to her breakdown the previous week and remembered how he had held her as she cried. At the time, it had only been somewhat comforting, but thinking back on it now, she wanted to be held like that again by him. Only, because of better circumstances than because of her having a breakdown. She wanted to just be held by him just because he could.

Squealing again, even higher pitched than before, Evelyn grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, an enormous grin stretching her lips. Was this really happening? Was she really, fully acknowledging the fact that she had a genuine crush on him? For some reason that seemed to both excite her and fill her with dread at the same time. Happy that she now had someone in her life that could suddenly fill her with a kind of happiness she had only experienced once before, but dread as well because this kind of happiness she had only _experienced **once** before_ and it had broken her. Should she really let this feeling continue to grow, or should she squash it now before it had the chance to backfire on her? She couldn’t decide, and she continuously went back and forth over it for the rest of the night. However, before she finally fell asleep, a huge smile appeared on her lips as she breathed his name in quiet delight.

“ Takuto… “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLS PLS PLS PLS leave a comment if you like this fic/chapter! I'd really appreciate it, plus I'd honestly just love to know peoples opinions on it since this IS my first fanfic after all. Any constructive feedback is welcomed, just don't be a butthead about it.
> 
> Also, for anyone who wants a slightly dated look at what Evie looks like, here's some old art I had commissioned years ago of her.
> 
> https://64.media.tumblr.com/bab1256a172834afa4b0f852cd334023/tumblr_nly9c8n6vL1rl0iuco2_1280.png


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evie finally spends a little quality time with her brother after what feels like too long apart, and also meets his friends for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once, there's no session this chapter! There WAS going to be, because this was going to be a MUCH longer chapter than what y'all are getting.....but I decided to split the chapter up into two instead of keeping it all one long ass chapter. Regardless, this is still my longest chapter yet at over 5000 words! 
> 
> This was my first time writing dialogue for characters besides Maruki and Evie ( and Akira, I guess xD ) so please let me know if I managed to characterize them well enough! I was super nervous about getting their characters right tbh OTL
> 
> EDITED August 12th, 2020:  
> I realized I had made summer break start way too early for Joker and everyone else, so I had to change this chapter a little to fix that. I keep running into timeline issues with this fic OTL but I'm currently playing through Royal again so I can be freshly reminded of what happens and all that.

It was nearing the middle of July, Evelyn realized vaguely one day as she simply sat in her living room watching TV. She had started watching TV again following the movie outing she’d had with Takuto just a couple days ago. Evelyn figured it would be a good idea since she was starting to become certain of the fact she’d be coming off her hiatus once her 9th session with him came and went. So, in preparation, she was catching up on the news in the entertainment industry that she had missed the past two months. Apparently things had been relatively quiet and peaceful, which was strange considering every other week there was usually some kind of scandal going on. Well, whatever, as long as she wasn’t the topic of any scandals or news, she couldn’t find it in herself to care about any of the news.

More importantly, school for her little brother was going to be out soon for summer break, which meant that, unless he was purposefully avoiding her, he could start visiting her again. She’d started texting him more the past couple of days, making sure not to spam him with messages but also not refraining from talking about anything on her mind. It was mostly because she wanted to make up for how she had ignored him recently herself, still feeling bad about how she had done that to him. Truthfully, Evelyn felt like she was finally starting to get out of the slump she’d been in for what had felt like much too long but was only two months, and it was all thanks to the still sprouting feelings for Takuto Maruki that she now fostered in her heart. She’d even begun calling him only Takuto in her mind, quite affectionately at that, and had been daydreaming of all sorts of sweet fantasies involving them together. Things like them holding each other’s hands, hugging each other, sitting so close to each other that they were practically snuggled up to each other.

Since their “movie date”, as she’d started calling it, he’d texted and called her a few times, and she had to try so hard to keep the affection from her voice whenever she would say his name while talking to him. Her feelings for him were developing at an alarmingly fast rate, and she should be worried, but she just couldn’t bring herself to care. After the two months of hell she’d been through because of this damn hiatus, she wanted to take whatever happiness she could take. If letting her feelings run rampant in the privacy of her mind would make her happy, she’d let that happen. The one thing she wouldn’t let happen, however, was to let Takuto catch on to her feelings for him. If he ever found out, it would ruin everything and just end up breaking her. Him finding out about her feelings would ruin everything good that had been happening recently for her, and might even ruin her chance to get out of her hiatus prison. Not to mention, the last time she’d let someone find out about her feelings for them, it had broken her heart because they had rejected her harshly.

Anyway, Akira had texted her asking if he could come over that night, and she had agreed almost immediately. She had missed him so much, despite how petty she had been to him. She was hoping he wasn’t too upset with her. In the meantime, she’d mess around on her computer with her go-to music making program. In no time at all she comes up with the instrumental to an upbeat pop song that perfectly describes her mood for that day. It felt nice to make music again, actually, but before she knew it, it was time for Akira to arrive.

She couldn’t help herself from hugging him tightly once he was inside, his own arms awkwardly wrapping around her in a return hug that was just as genuine as hers. He seemed to have missed her as much as she had missed him, and she wastes no time in joking about that.

“ Haha, guess I wasn’t the only one who missed their sibling! “

Akira let out a soft chuckle at her teasing, reaching his hand up to mess with a strand of his hair.“ Of course, and I’m sorry it’s been so long. School and things got a little…hectic. “

She smiled, shaking her head at him, hoping it would reassure him that it was okay. “ No worries, if anything I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m sorry I basically ignored you for a little while there…. “

His head tilted to the side, an unreadable expression on his face. She took a breath before continuing.

“ I…kinda felt like you had been ignoring me, so I got upset and childishly did the same thing I thought you were doing. I know now that it was wrong of me to do that; I hope I didn’t end up making you worry or anything like that…. “

Another soft chuckle left his lips and he shook his head, an understanding look forming on his face. “ Looks like we both need to apologize. I was busy, sure, but that wasn’t an excuse to not at least let you know that I was busy in the first place. That probably would have made you feel better about it. “

“ No! No, no, you didn’t owe me even that, even with me being your sister. If you’re too busy to text me then that’s fine! Like I’m trying to say, it was one hundred percent my own fault that I got upset with you and ignored you. “

He pauses, his expression becoming unreadable again. “ Alright. “

An awkward silence falls between them for a couple of minutes, with Evie shuffling her feet slightly and Akira reaching up to play with a bit of his hair again. Clapping her hands together, a bright smile suddenly hits her face, and she lightly shoves at him, barely making him even budge. “ So! What say we start dinner? I felt like actually cooking tonight so no delivery for us this time! “

Smiling at her, he nodded, moving to set his bag down near where he had taken his shoes off. “ Sure. What’re we having? “

Giggling, she turned around and started walking to the kitchen. “ Something NOT Japanese! “

“ Is that the only hint I’m getting? “

“ Not exactly, because you’re going to help me cook it! Or well, more like help prepare it! “

“ So then, what are you cooking? “

She could hear the amused exasperation in his voice, and it only served to make her giggle again. “ Beef stew! It’s a super simple recipe, and this is actually gonna be my own spin on it! “

Taking the ingredients out of the fridge, she sets them where they need to be and starts working on peeling some carrots. “ I actually only like it with just potatoes and carrots mixed in with the meat, so that’s how I tend to make it. Think that’ll be okay with you? You can tell me if that’s too simple even for you, hehe. “

He stands there, watching her begin to work, still smiling softly at her. “ Nah, it sounds delicious. Can’t say I’ve ever had it, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. “

Grinning at him, she bounced on the balls of her slipper clad feet, already having finished peeling the carrots and beginning to cut them up. “ Great! Then, can you peel and cut up the potatoes for me? Make sure they’re not too small as you cut them up. If they’re too small while the stew cooks, they can basically get all mashed up before you even try to eat them! “

Not surprisingly, they make a good team when it came to preparing the ingredients for the meal. She was going to put it all together in a pressure cooker in order to save time; he couldn’t be there all night waiting for it to cook after all! While they work, she finds herself gushing about the movie date she’d had with Takuto, though she made sure to call it an outing as she talked about it. As she gushed, her brother regarded her with an amused expression, chuckling every time she gushed in a particularly high-pitched voice. Eventually, all the raw ingredients had been mixed into the pot with the wet ingredients that would then go inside the pressure cooker, and they then retreated to her living room until it was done. As they sat down, Akira suddenly proposed that she come over to where he was staying for once, to spend time with him there, and maybe even his friends. He wanted her to meet his friends, as well as Sojiro.

“ Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind it at all, I’d love to meet your friends, actually. And I need to make sure myself that Sojiro is actually treating you right. But isn’t Leblanc a business? Would it be okay to gather there and just loiter around? “

He laughed at that, a somewhat surprisingly loud sound, coming from him. “ It’d be fine, trust me. Sojiro doesn’t get much business usually, anyway. “

A sound of incredulity was her reaction to his statement, wondering if he was hiding a thinly veiled insult at the man who currently had guardianship over Akira. “ Wow lil’ bro, that was so mean! Make sure he doesn’t hear you say anything like that around him, haha! “

He reached up to rub at the back of his neck, acting like he was being scolded by her. “ I promise I won’t talk like that where he can hear me, then. “

“ You better! I wouldn’t be able to defend you from his wrath if he _did_ hear you! “

They both laughed, then, boisterous and loud. It felt so nice, to laugh like this with Akira. Suddenly, a beeping goes off, and she stands up immediately upon hearing it. “ Oh, it’s done! “

Rushing to the kitchen, Akira following behind at a slower pace, she checks the pressure cooker to make sure it was truly done cooking the stew, before turning the lid to then let the pressurized air come out of it. A delicious smell immediately hit her nose and her stomach growled loudly in response to it, earning a laugh from both herself and her brother.

“ I hope you like it, it’s one of the few things I can make really good after all! “

After scooping some stew into bowls for the both of them, they return to her living room, now sitting on the same couch as only one of them had a coffee table in front of them so they could set their bowls down whenever they needed to. He loved it, it turned out, if the way he was wolfing it down was anything to go off. She was glad he liked it, and even offered to send him home with some leftovers if he wanted some more for later. He declines, surprisingly, saying he isn’t certain if Sojiro had any room in his fridge in the café to store it there. Plus, that fridge was for the ingredients and food made for the care, not for his personal use. She understands, and instead offers to make it for him again, or whenever he wanted, if he promises to come over more often.

“ I’ll definitely try to, though I can’t make any promises. “

“ That’s okay, you don’t have to if you honestly can’t. If I had to, I could make it and bring it to you for dinner here and there. Maybe we could start spending some nights at Leblanc instead of only my place. You did already say you’d like me to come over tomorrow, after all. “

A pause filled the air as she finished the last of her own bowl of stew, sighing in delight as the last of the savory flavor touched her tongue. Swallowing before speaking again, she shoots a grin at him for what seemed like the one hundredth time that night. “ Speaking of, what time did you want me to come over tomorrow? “

“ Close to noon, if you can. You could even order Sojiros curry and coffee for lunch before I get there with my friends. That work for you? “

Giving him a close eyed smile in affirmation, she nodded, before standing up and holding her hand out to take his bowl along with hers. He offers it to her without a word, and she goes to the kitchen to rinse them out. She’d wash them properly once he actually left, which would be very soon now that she realized it. Walking back into her living room, she looks just a little sad over him having to leave soon. She’d really enjoyed spending time with him that evening, but at least they could finally start spending more time together. Hopefully, at least.

He stands up after checking his phone, giving her an apologetic look as he walks to the entrance of her home, starting to put his shoes back on after taking the guest slippers she’d provided off. Suddenly, she can’t help herself, and she gently throws herself at him in order to give him a tight hug. Her arms now around him, he didn’t seem to waste any time in returning the hug. Despite him being laughably taller than her, the top of her head reaching a little below the bottom of his chin usually, she didn’t really feel like the older sibling in that moment. They say nothing as they hug, and it only lasts a minute or two, before she initiates pulling away, her eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“ I love you, lil’ bro. Don’t be a stranger, okay? “

He smiles down at her, his eyes shining just a little as well. With tears or something else, she didn’t know, but she could see the warmth in them as he looked at her. “ Love you too, I promise I’ll come see you more often. And if _I_ can’t come to you, we can come to each other. “

With the sweet words of sibling affection exchanged between them, Akira finally left for the night and Evelyn had to lean against the front door after she had closed it behind him. Things were finally looking up, weren’t they?

. . .

The next day comes and, for once, Evelyn is up bright and early. It was mostly because she’d wanted to have time to think about how to possibly interact with her brothers friends, going over multiple scenarios of how it could go down or what type of people his friends even were. She had already decided to dress in a flashy way, picking out an outfit one would expect a celebrity to wear not only because it looked expensive, but because it was unorthodox. As usual, her stomach was hidden by shapewear, and the outfit she had chosen did nothing to show off her stomach either, ensuring a double layer of protection. Of course, she’s also chosen a hat and sunglasses to go along with her outfit for the time being, the accessories being her go to options when it came to hiding her identity. It was funny, however, considering what she had chosen to wear that day. She’d still be noticed even if people didn’t know exactly who she was, but she didn’t think she’d mind it. She’d have to start getting used to it soon enough anyway, once she could end her hiatus.

Café Leblanc was a decent distance away from her home, so she would have to have her private driver take her part way to it, and then she would walk the rest of it. Without meaning to, Evelyn had arrived thirty minutes before noon, a bit earlier than she had intended to arrive. At least it would give her time to eat in peace before Akira and his friends got there, right? The man who held guardianship over Akira for now, Sojiro, greeted her as she walked in. He seemed to know who she was immediately, which made things easier on her end.

“ Hey there, Evelyn, right? He told me you’d be coming here today. “

She nods politely, taking off her hat and sunglasses, putting them inside her bag as she sat at the counter instead of one of the booths. “ Yes, hi! Did he also tell you I’d probably want lunch while I was here? “

Sojiro chuckled at her enthusiastic greeting, nodding as he already started to busy himself with preparing what she believed was a cup of coffee.

“ He did. So, how do you take your coffee? “

“ Unfortunately, with tons of cream and sugar. Unless you’ve got a milder coffee that won’t be that bitter? I’d still need _some_ cream and sugar though. I’m not that hungry right now, though, so you can hold off on the curry for now! “

“ Heh, I’m used to accommodating various different types of coffee drinkers, so no worries there. I’ve definitely got something you’ll like. “

Smiling softly, she rummages in her bag for her phone, checking the time on it briefly before opening a social media app to scroll through for a few minutes. She makes idle conversation with the older man as he prepares her coffee, and then as he moves on to preparing her curry, her thoughts wander to Takuto. Every time she thinks about him lately, she couldn’t help the blush that came with this name in her mind, and she was sure that now wasn’t any different than any other time when she thought of him. Imagining them holding hands and picturing them holding each other in a tight embrace were the usual things her mind would jump to when daydreaming about Takuto and herself together. A clinking sound tore her away from the fantasies playing out in her mind, blinking her eyes and looking down to see the coffee she had ordered was now in front of her. Sojiro looked amused, for some reason.

“ Talking to your boyfriend? “

The question caught her off guard, and she almost had half a mind to tell him it wasn’t any of his business, but she didn’t want to sour the pleasant mood of the café and simply shook her head. The blush was still on her cheeks, and she hoped it would be gone before her brother got there, but even if it didn’t, she could just use the excuse of the coffee making her face feel hot.

“ Ah, I don’t have a boyfriend. “

Gently picking up the cup of coffee, taking in the smell before sipping at it, a warmth began to spread through her chest as she swallowed it. Ah, good coffee was such an experience, and this coffee was very good. Almost too good, actually. True to his word, he’d chosen a very mild coffee for her, but had also put very little cream and sugar in it as well. This didn’t detract from how good it was, however. Maybe she would have to start coming here more often, because damn, this coffee was good!

The bell of the café chimed suddenly, and it was just loud enough to startle her. Looking to her right, where the entrance of the place was, there was her brother along with a group of four other teenagers. Ah, he’d finally gotten back! A little early, if the time on her phone was correct.

“ Akira, hi! “

She greets him first, her face lighting up in a happy greeting. He smiles softly in reply to her, lifting a hand up in greeting. It’s silent for a beat, but then the blonde girl to his right is the first to introduce herself.

“ Hi there, I’m Takamaki Ann! Akira’s told us so much about you! It’s nice to finally meet you! “

The boy to her brothers left, somehow taller than he was, lifted a hand in greeting as well. He had a much more serious look about him than the blonde boy to Akira’s right.

“ I’m Kitagawa Yusuke, a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Evelyn. I’ve been told you’re quite an accomplished musician, and I’ve been eager to meet with another artist of a different field than mine. “

“ Yusuke, dude, you’re gonna creep her out, talkin’ like that! “

It’s the blonde boy who says this, though she notices there’s a slight blush on his cheeks and he keeps glancing nervously at her, even before he had spoken up to reprimand the taller boy. “ But, uh, I’m Ryuji. “

“ Nijima Makoto, it’s nice to finally have a face to connect to all the things I’ve heard about from him about you. “ The only other girl with the group is shaking her head, an exasperated expression on her face, her brown hair swaying slightly with the movement of her head.

There’s a beat of silence, where Evelyn shakes her head in amusement as the tension that was filling the air. That’s usually how it went when people met celebrities in more private settings, and this definitely wasn’t anything she hadn’t dealt with before. Not that this was annoying or anything like that. On the contrary, she found it funny and cute.

“ Relax, guys. I don’t know how many of you, if any, have ever met a celebrity before, but I promise you can relax around me. It’s nice to meet you all, and, ah…..Yusuke, was it? You’re an artist too? What exactly do you do, if it’s okay to ask? “

Her speaking to them seemed to open a flood gate of relief, and she could see all of them visibly relax. Well, minus Yusuke, who seemed to have been relaxed from the moment he’d walked in.

“ Yes, I am indeed an artist! I paint, to be more specific, but please!” He takes a couple steps closer to where she was sitting, intense interest shining in his dark eyes. “ Will you tell me of your process of creation? You make music, yes? I’ve always found it fascinating how musicians can simply create new melodies, never before heard by man, and weave them together with other melodies to make something people can never seem to get out of their heads! I believe the proper term for such a phenomenon is ‘ catchy ‘, correct? “

Okay, even Evelyn had to admit that now she was slightly overwhelmed by the interest from Yusuke, his question, followed by his short speech, made her blink rapidly in confusion for a moment. Ah, so he was that kind of eccentric artist, was he? Well, she’d dealt with plenty like that before, so this wasn’t anything new to her.

“ Um, well…. “

Her single second of hesitation is enough for the blonde girl, Ann, to lift an arm up and lightly tug at the back of his shirt, trying to pull him back a little closer to their group. “ Sorry about him, he’s a little weird but I promise he’s not a bad guy! He’s just….really passionate! “

She laughed lightly at the blonde girls comment, lifting a hand to wave in the air in a gesture of assurance. “ Ahaha, it’s fine, I promise! I can’t say I wasn’t overwhelmed for a second there, but I’d be more than happy to indulge in his questions! In fact, if any of you have any questions about anything regarding what I do, feel free to have at it! “

That seems to finally put all of the teens fully at ease, with Evelyn doing her best to appear open to anything they might want to ask her about. Clearly, they were curious about her, and she honestly didn’t mind indulging their curiosity. Her brother was smirking in the middle of the group, having not said a word as the others had introduced themselves and Yusuke had his little outburst. Ryuji, Makoto and Akira sit in a booth behind her, while Yusuke and Ann sit next to her. Both of them were seemingly starstruck by her, though Ann did a better job of hiding it than Yusuke did. Yusuke wastes no time in repeating his question of how she goes about her creation process, and she can’t help but laugh again before replying to him.

“ I’m not sure if I have a specific process, nor can I really explain how music just kind of….pops into my head, and I just kind of make it real in reality. I mainly focus on electronic and pop music, but I’ve done other genres of music as well. I just have a preference for electronic music. Ya know, like techno? “ She takes another sip of her coffee before continuing. “ Yeah, I don’t think I have a creative process, I just kinda….do my thing. It’s hard to explain, honestly. I’m sorry if that doesn’t give you much insight, Yusuke. “

He shakes his head at her apology, appearing grateful despite how vague she had been. “ Not at all, Miss Evelyn! I often find that merely witnessing the way people talk about their passions can provide insight in a different way. I can see you’re clearly very passionate, and I respect that immensely! “

“ Ah, please, you don’t have to speak so formally with me. You can talk to me the same way you talk to my brother, if you feel comfortable doing that. “

Ann is the next to speak, her eyes shining in adoration, for whatever reason. “ Akira said you started out really young, can you tell me what that was like? Do you maybe have any advice for an aspiring model? “

Reaching up to awkwardly scratch at her cheek, Evelyn thought for a second before answering. “ Honestly, in the beginning, it was actually really scary. Mom and Dad weren’t happy that I wanted to be an idol, but I was lucky that they didn’t try to stop me. They supported me enough to where I could get a start, and I was just lucky that the start I got took off enough for me to keep going until I finally hit it big. “

Her coffee was cold now, though there also wasn’t much left of it in the first place, but she found she now wanted a soda to sip at instead of another cup of coffee. She asks Sojiro if he has soda, to which he says he does, and so she orders a cup of soda before beginning to address the request for advice from the blonde-haired girl.

“ I’m not _just_ a model, but I do a lot of photoshoots for single and album covers, as well as magazines and photobooks, but hmmm….. I’m not sure if I can offer any good advice to you, Ann. I guess what works for me is just the fact that I have to feel confident in myself if I want a photo to turn out good. “

Suddenly, a question occurs to Evelyn and she turns around to address her brother for a moment.

“ Hey, have you seen Takuto lately? I mean, for counseling. I know you’re also kind of seeing him, just not as regularly as I do. “ A pause. “ To be honest, Takuto hasn’t texted me yet today and I’m just a little worried…. “

She doesn’t miss the smirk on her brothers face as she asks about Takuto, but she can’t really figure out why he was smirking at her.

“ Nah, since school’s almost out for break soon, a lot of students have been going to see him lately, plus he’s been too busy to see me recently…. Since when were you on a first name basis with him though? “

The question seems innocent enough, but it’s enough for a light blush to plaster itself on her cheeks, and she desperately hopes no one notices it.

“ Ah, right! Well, do you want me to tell him you said hi? I see him again tomorrow so I can totally do that! “

He chuckles, shaking his head. “ No, that’s okay. “

Makoto and Ann share a look, which Evelyn notices, but she chooses to ignore it and check her phone for a second. Ack, it was already that late? Had they really been talking for almost four hours? It hadn’t felt like it at all, which must have meant she’d been having fun. Still, she realizes she’s very tired, suddenly. Evelyn thanks her brother for introducing his friends to her and re-iterates how nice it was to meet everyone, but she needed to get home because her social energy had been spent. It would take at least forty five minutes to get there with the late afternoon traffic about to start, so she decides to leave for now. Everyone thanks her for coming and expresses the hope that they can all meet up and hang out again soon. Before she leaves, however, she reaches out to give her brother a hug, mostly so she could see if it’d embarrass him or not. He doesn’t seem to care about being embarrassed, and reciprocates her hug immediately, even as Ann coos over how cute it is and Yusuke puts his fingers into the shape of a rectangle. Was he trying to take a mental picture or something? Eh, who cares, she needed to get going, and so she removed her arms from around her brothers figure, making a show out of leaving the café.

Once she’s home, she notes that she feels light as a feather, so calm and happy, that she thinks she must be floating. She knows she’ll have sweet dreams that night. Was this what bliss felt like? Surely, if she was this confident that her life was going to go back to normal soon, it had to be.


	6. UPDATE NOV 2020

Hi guys, I just wanted to give y'all an update about this story since it's been like 2+ months since I've updated it?

First of all, the reason it's been so long, and will continue to be longer, is because I wrote all 5 current chapters within 10-11 days. That was 20k+ words in that amount of time. I burnt myself out BIG TIME and haven't been able to touch the fic since then. IDK when I'll be able to touch it again either, but I do know I will NOT abandon it, since it's my first real fanfic I've ever written. I've also posted this fanfic on fanfiction dot net, for anyone who may want to favorite it over there as well. 

I'm kind of iffy about being on/supporting Ao3 right now though, on account of finding out that apparently, this site allows written porn of REAL LIFE CHILDREN on it.....like? I don't even like the fact it allows porn of fictional kids but much as I dislike that, it's still fiction...... This is REAL LIFE CHILDREN having porn written about them and being posted here and Ao3 doesn't CARE? That doesn't sit right with me to be honest, so don't be surprised if I end up abandoning my account here or not posting anything new here. Here's the fic on ff dot net if anyone wants to continue reading future updates in case that happens: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13745149/1/Reality-Can-Be-Cruel-Sometimes

But anyway, I'm sorry if I got anyone's hopes up with this update being posted. It's not an actual chapter, but I felt like I NEEDED to update anyone who may like this fic.


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